


but who prays for satan?

by Mr_Morningstar



Series: better the devil you know [1]
Category: Christian Bible, Original Work
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Frenemies, Friendship, Gen, Humor, I'd say there's some UST but it's just Lucifer and his problems, Kinda?, Lucifer goes to earth meets Jesus at the party and makes lame jokes, Lucifer is a mess I can relate to, Slice of Life, they're not friends though don't even think so, well at least Lucifer says so and Jesus just nods
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-14
Updated: 2019-07-14
Packaged: 2020-06-28 04:57:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 916
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19805218
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mr_Morningstar/pseuds/Mr_Morningstar
Summary: "Jokes aside, Lucifer. You do look...""Handsome as hell no pun intended?" he interrupts, lighting up a cigarette. Jesus doesn't bother to ask him not to, finishing what he wanted to say, concerned:"You look worn out".Lucifer winces at that and takes a drag, lazily:"Shitty you mean"."Yeah, let's phrase it your way".





	but who prays for satan?

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this maybe two-three years ago and it was just laying around all this time. It is actually quite a well-formed original story with a stable plot and some interesting details like angelic lore and god's appearance. And I have several texts in nonlinear narrative. The main character of this universe - which I call The Bibleverse (what a pun) - is Lucifer himself. And the whole plot in a nutshell is "Lucifer is depressed". 
> 
> It is actually influenced by the unfinished book of Leonid Andreev "Diary of Satan" or "Satan's Diary" depending on the translation. I recommend you to check it out. So in the book Satan comes to earth to have some fun, but ends up slowly becoming human in more aspects then he anticipated. It's a strange story, but an interesting one. And well I personally think "become human" doesn't really reflect the Russian word "вочеловечиться" ("vochelovechit'sya") in this context. It's derived from the noun "человек" ("human") of course and it's an old verb, a religious one. In Christian mythology it is "to take the form of a man (about God)". But in the story it's not only about the form, it's about the essence, the core of being human. The feelings and struggles and living. 
> 
> So I took that concept and now we have this story. In which Lucifer is bored and doesn't really like being the Devil and he doesn't even really run Hell now, he's basically more like the Queen of Great Britain at this point. And he likes to visit earth, bumping into Jesus here and there. Who doesn't really follow the Second Coming of Christ idea and just enjoys little moments of life throughout the history. He's God's favourite son, you know. Even though God doesn't play favourites. 
> 
> Anyway back to Lucifer. He can't really go to earth in his own form (his vessel) for long periods of time, because he doesn't have God's blessing to do so anymore. Therefore if he uses his own vessel to stay on earth too much, he slowly becomes more human. Starts having more human emotions, needs and in the end can end up being not-Satan. Which is bad. Because if there's no Satan in Hell then there's no balance. But Lucifer is depressed and he goes all "Damn you, I'm gonna chill in my own vessel on earth and do nothing, spending time with Jesus and just slowly ceasing to exist". And, surely, he doesn't start using his own vessel, beacuse possesing other people makes Jesus upset. No. He doesn't even like Jesus. Like at all.

"Jesus, do you ever change!" he hears someone saying and turns around. There's a man with hair as dark as night and a bunch of moles on his pale face. He's wearing tight jeans, a plain white t-shirt and a leather jacket certainly bigger than he should.

The man crooks a smile. Quirks his brow. And then the eyes give him away. He'd recognize these eyes anywhere.

"Lucifer" he nods. The man, Lucifer now, winks and goes closer. Standing with him on the balcony now. The door closes and the music from the party is just a muffled sound.

"Long time no see, Jess" Lucifer smirks, putting hands into pockets of the jacket.  


Jesus eyes him and sighs, "Please no short forms, we discussed it".

"Duh, you don't like pet names either. And Jesus Christ our savior is way too formal. What do your friends call you nowadays anyway?"

"They call me Jesus".

Lucifer stares, calculating.

"No way," but Jesus says nothing in return, "You look basically the same, well, they sorta whitewashed you a bit, but... People are stupid, of course, but not that stupid. They probably notice the similarities and mention it? Then they ask you what's your name and... You just say… your name is Jesus?"

"Yes. It's not like there's something supernatural in telling people your name, Lucifer".

"Oh boy," Lucifer snorts, "They probably think it's some kind of a pick-up line, don't even want to think about it..."

"What brings you here?"

"Here here? Or just earth?"

"Earth. But here too".

"I was... Bored?"

"You're never just bored and you know that I know that".

"Woah, J, no need to give me a cold shoulder right away. Didn't you miss me? Just a little? Wondered what your old buddy pal Lucifer is up to these days?"

"Not really and I can't say that we're buddies," Jesus muses and shrugs. Oh, he lies a bit right now, he did miss him, "I think we're more like frenemies?" He smiles softly.

"Oh, look who's been educating himself with modern slang and stuff. Is it like mandatory for your program this funny weekend?" Lucifer smiles back at him, but the smile itself looks… not fake, no, more like too much of an effort. Like it pains him.

Jesus eyes Lucifer and as he speaks again his voice is hesitant:

"Jokes aside, Lucifer. You do look..."

"Handsome as hell no pun intended?" he interrupts, lighting up a cigarette. Jesus doesn't bother to ask him not to, finishing what he wanted to say, concerned:

"You look worn out".

Lucifer winces at that and takes a drag, lazily:

"Shitty you mean".

"Yeah, let's phrase it your way," Jesus nods, looking at Lucifer. How his - not really his - hands tremble a little and narrows his eyes, "Did you see Michael again?"

Smoke goes with the night air and Lucifer tsks, focusing his eyes somewhere far far away:

"More like he dropped by, lectured me about some shit I did, uh, lots of centuries ago? Probably before your birth even. He said something about how they are facing the consequences only right now. And I honestly can't remember even doing it, maybe it was Gabriel? I feel like everyone keeps forgetting that he can act as a straight-up bitch sometimes".

Silence falls between them for a minute or so as Jesus continues to study Lucifer's current look. He can't help but be concerned for the real host of the body, it's just...

"Do I look that hot you can't take your eyes off of me?" Lucifer grins and blows a ring of smoke right into Jesus' face.

He closes his eyes and inhales, slowly. It tastes like mint.

When he looks at Lucifer again their eyes meet and it's a little bit hard to tell what is it that Lucifer's face is showing. Just for a second Jesus thinks that he sees a painful longing in the eyes of the devil. But with a blink the contact breaks and the cigarette falls down, down, to the ground.

"Who's body is that?" Jesus asks finally. Lucifer sighs and rolls his eyes, unamused:

"Does it really matter right now?"

"Of course it does, Lucifer. You can't possess people like that. It's wrong and..." he stops, understanding that he’s basically started lecturing Lucifer too. Just like Michael. And honestly with all the respect he has for the Archangel and his Father, he doesn't want to be like Michael. So he adds, biting his lip thoughtfully:

"Just don't do anything that will harm the body."

Lucifer makes a gesture with his hands:

"Oh, like I've planned to! Everyone always seems to think that I have some sort of an evil plan on everything! Maybe I just wanted to get wasted and fall off a bridge! See, nothing harmful."

Though Jesus clearly hears the sarcasm in his tone, he still looks at Lucifer expectedly. He notices also that the distance between them has shortened. When did that even happen?

"I thought you've had a better sense of humor, seriously."

"I do, but tonight I've already listened to Call Me Maybe ten times, I think."

"Boy, that's the real Hell on Earth," Lucifer laughs quietly with a horrified look on his face.

"So be nice to the body since it's not yours."

"Ok, mom."

"Also I like your own vessel more."

Lucifer stiffens and lowers his eyes. He mumbles something in such a hushed voice, that Jesus can't really hear it.

"Of course, you do."

**Author's Note:**

> My tumblr is nikirari.tumblr.com, so you can send an ask if you read this thing and is interested in other details. Or maybe you'll just scream at me, because this is such a religious frivolity. I don't know, I'm baptized, but don't go to churches and my family isn't religious at all. I've read a lot of studies though, some parts of the Bible and for some reason I'm really invested in Lucifer's role and how it evolved from the beautiful fallen angel to that red demon thing through ages. My name here now makes more sense, wow.
> 
> Feel free to correct me, because English isn't my first language and some stuff just slips. 
> 
> I actually remembered about this thing thanks to Good Omens and decided "Ah, why not just post it somewhere, won't hurt".


End file.
